I have had it with people (friends, relatives, acquaintances) assuming they get to hold my baby when we’re out in public just because I (as a stay-at-home mom) get to be with her all the time.
First of all, your argument is invalid because you and I are not equal shareholders in the hot commodity that is my child. Unless you happen to be her father, your rights to her are secondary, tertiary, or even non-existent compared with mine. I do not owe you 20 minutes with her for every 20 hours I get. No ma’am.
Besides, the very fact I get to be with my baby all the time is what earns me the right to be with her all the time. Let me explain. When this child wakes up at 3am, I ‘get to’ climb my ass out of bed and go feed her. When she has a diaper blowout in the car on the way to the grocery store, I ‘get to’ wipe up the poop and take the dirty clothes back home where later on, I will ‘get to’ stain treat them and wash them in special, expensive dye free detergent.
I was late to this very party because I ‘got to’ pack my car to full capacity with baby’s gear and supplies. Later on I’ll ‘get to’ unpack all of that, and in the meantime I’ll ‘get to’ be judged by old biddies who don’t think I dressed my child appropriately or brought the right items for her.
I have, albeit temporarily, sacrificed my freedom, my figure, my sleep, my career, and basically my whole personhood to care for this little person. In return, I get to have baby snuggles whenever I want them–even right now, as you reach out your unwashed hands, ready to take my little bundle! Yes, I went through pregnancy, childbirth, and the sleepless nights that followed so that *I* could have baby snuggles, not so I could forfeit them to you.
You see, baby snuggles are my paycheck–they’re the only compensation I get. They’re well worth the trouble, and I don’t get tired of them any more than you get tired of money. Tell me, since you get a paycheck every week, are you willing to give one up every once in awhile–even moreso during the holiday season? What’s that you say? You work hard for your money and it’s yours to do with as you choose? Hmm…
My ‘pay check’ doesn’t put food on the table. Instead, it puts warm, fuzzy feelings in my heart and creates lasting memories that are priceless and irreplaceable. So while you might enjoy holding my child as she sees Christmas lights for the first time, while you might be dying to offer her that first taste of chocolate, please understand these are privileges I work very hard to earn. Have the tact to ask permission, rather than demanding to hold my child. Exercise at least as much integrity with her as you would expect from me if I were borrowing your new car or hosting a party in your home. Please allow me to enjoy your company AND continue bonding with my precious newborn simultaneously, because if it boils down to a choice between the two…it will have been nice knowing you.