I hope you’ll all bear with me for a moment while I brag on myself. I was bullied today, and it was glorious! Now, I’ve never been very skilled at picking up on social cues, so there’s a chance this wasn’t my very first experience with being singled out for unprovoked cruelty. It was, however, the first incident I was acutely aware of, and let me tell you, no praise from any source could have been more encouraging.

If you’ve ever been the victim of bullying, or know anyone who has, you probably wonder just what I found so glorious about it. You may suspect that I’m referring to my eloquent and powerfully written retort, but I actually chose not to offer one, for reasons I’ll discuss in a future post. I will admit it took me a moment to appreciate the implications of having been chosen as a target for such lunacy. When I first read the seething message from my would-be adversary, my head felt hot, my heart raced, and I wanted to disappear. I quickly remembered though, the individuals I know who have been bullied, and the stories they’ve shared with me about their struggles. They are without exception, the most interesting and talented people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.

You see, ordinary, boring people with nothing rare or valuable to offer this world are never chosen as targets. The uninspired, the aimless, and the average, much like the very popular who are at or near the peak of their awesomeness, always fly under the radar when a bully is looking for victims.

My theory is that the bullied all share a few common traits which inevitably inspire the hatred of unfulfilled individuals:

• They have something the bully wants — something intangible which cannot simply be stolen. This something could be looks, talent, or integrity. It could be seemingly effortless success in a particular area of life. It could simply be attention — either that of a particular person, or that which comes from the masses when one is unique in any way. Even negative attention, such as pity, can be misconstrued as desirable in the bully’s eyes and lead to attacks.
• They are a threat. Regardless of her physical stature, personality or motivations, the target is always perceived as a threat by the bully. The way the antagonist sees it, if her target did not exist, she would have an easier time in life. If the target can be intimidated to the point of helplessness — neutralized — then the bar will be lowered and, just maybe, the bully will finally be noticed and receive the accolades she so desires.
• Their very existence seems to highlight what is missing from the bully’s psyche, namely confidence. Because the bully is inherently weak, and terrified of being publicly exposed as such, she despises the courage and confidence initially displayed by her target. If a student becomes popular in spite of a some physical feature that sets her apart from the crowd, if an artist dares to actively promote her own work and is successful in doing so, the bully is appalled. She feels her own insecurities intensify. She cannot take a chance and risk being seen as different, she will not dare open herself up to criticism, so she misses out on a lot of potential praise, along with the chance to build meaningful connections with other people. Because her walls are up, she expects the rest of the world to keep theirs up as well. She sees it as her duty to obliterate any trace of confidence in her target, and quickly, lest it put her shallow facade of conformity to shame.

So you see, the second time I read through that paragraph of vitriol so riddled with grammatical errors, I saw it for what it really was: my formal invitation to join the ranks of the relevant, ironically issued by someone who (for the moment, at least) is not. This seemingly random act of ignorance and hatred has marked my transition from the comfort of obscurity to the fulfillment of knowing my words are reaching people. I would post my first piece of keepsake hate mail here for you to read, but the words my antagonist wrote aren’t important. Every piece of hate mail ever received — the words and actions of every bully in the history of the world — can be translated into sane English as follows:

“Dear (your name here),

I see/the world sees something in you that I only wish I could see in myself. The best I can do is to put you down and pretend you’re the one who’s lacking. I wish you didn’t exist so that I might have a chance to be noticed and appreciated the way you are/will be. The sad truth is that I doubt I’ll ever be as strong/smart/admired as you are, so please, stop being awesome and fade away in response to this message.

Insecurely,

Your Broken Fan”

While I’m proud to now count myself among the bullied, and while I certainly interpret it as a sign that great things are in store for me, I can’t help but feel badly for the person who attacked me. You see, my level of talent and popularity, though clearly higher than hers at the time of this writing, is hardly intimidating or unattainable. If she had taken the emotional energy she invested in condemning me, and put it to use pursuing her own passions instead, she could have been well on her way to achieving her personal definition of greatness, far exceeding the scope of my modest blog. I hope in time she can find the courage to step out of the shadows where she’s been sitting in judgement, and experience the thrill of pursuing her dreams.