It’s funny now to look back on how much I’ve always hated grocery shopping. From the time I was a kid, shopping with my mom, to my newlywed years, shopping with or without Justin. And then especially as a mom, trying to juggle the kids while trying to get everything on the list. It was monotonous, and always so expensive too. It was always the low point in my week, which in hindsight, goes to show how good and how easy my weeks were.

Now I’d do most anything to make a normal trip to an uncrowded grocery store, grab a cart without wondering if I’d just sentenced myself or a loved one to death, and walk the fully stocked aisles picking up anything and everything I wanted. Things are so different now. I haven’t been inside a grocery store in two weeks, but the last time I went, it was a madhouse.

People didn’t have masks on, and they didn’t seem very concerned about social distancing. The disinfecting wipe dispenser was empty. People were panic buying, things like six loaves of bread. Other items had limits on them, like the hamburger (2 pounds per shopper). There was no toilet paper. I was able to get potatoes, hamburger, and a round roast. I’d never made a round roast before (it just wasn’t a cut I was familiar with), but I was grateful to have found meat at all. When I got home I left all my clothes on the back porch and went straight to the shower. When I got out, I wiped down each grocery item before bringing it in.

Aside from that trip I’ve been using Walmart’s grocery pickup app. It’s nice, because I pay online and someone brings the items out to my car. The associate loads everything, while I stay “safely” six feet away. Then at home I just have to go though and try to sanitize all the items before I bring them in. It’s not difficult, but it’s time consuming, and my supply of disinfecting wipes is running low. The downside of the grocery pickup app is that in the three weeks (is it three weeks now?) that we’ve been doing this, they’ve never had any brand of toilet paper. They don’t have disinfecting wipes or hamburger either. Most of the time they have milk.

It’s been tricky to get a pickup time, and it’s even harder now that the first case has been confirmed in our county. That happened just last night, but we all know that case isn’t really the first in our county. We’re a rural area, where no one is particularly rich or powerful, so no one has been able to get tested. This poor person was just the first to be sick enough to qualify for a test. We don’t know anything about his condition. We pray he’ll pull through.

Walmart made some changes today to the way the inside of the store operates. A little late, in my opinion, but I’m glad they did it. They’ve closed off all but one entrance, and they’re not allowing children inside. They’re talking to people at the door, or so I’m told, maybe even taking their temps to make sure no one comes in sick. That part is only a little bit helpful, as people can take medication to lower a fever, and they can also spread the virus before even developing one. But the community hasn’t been taking the virus seriously. They’ve been congregating at Walmart ever since the bars and restaurants closed.

Truth be known, people have congregated at Walmart for as long as there’s been a Walmart, but apparently it’s been more crowded than usual lately. I can’t imagine wanting to stay there any longer than necessary. Every change so far has lead to more panic buying. And sure enough, as of today it’s harder to schedule a grocery pickup order. It’s the first of the month too, though, so many people have just gotten their paychecks or their state benefits. They didn’t necessarily have the option to do their shopping last week.

We’re doing all right on our supplies, and we’re just going to ride out this next wave of craziness. I have my next grocery pickup order ready, so when I check and see an open spot, I’ll order those things. Maybe more of my items will be in stock now that shopping is more controlled inside the store. I can only hope.

At home, life has been wonderful, especially as more time passes and it becomes clear we don’t have the Coronavirus right now. I beat Emmy at monopoly, and we made headbands out of her potholder weaving kit. We’ve watched the Son of Bigfoot with Lizzy as many times as we can stand. The kids also enjoy Full House and Bob’s Burgers, which helps a bit with keeping our sanity. I made some pink lemonade yesterday, and everyone liked that. When Frank wants a refill, he asks for “more purple orange juice.” I love him more than words can say.

We’ve been getting outside more. We had a fire one night (I can’t remember which) and sat around it telling stories. Frank wanted to go first, and he told about some bad raccoons, who tried to attack our chickens. He was a hero and saved the day by cutting them with a sword. He hadn’t told many stories before in his life. It was very cute, especially the way, every time we thought it was over, he’d say “and then…” Emmy went next and told the story of our trip to Disney World.

Disney parks are closed down indefinitely now, and I am so glad we went when we did. I believe things will get better, and we’ll have other chances to travel, but I wanted to go when the kids were young enough to believe in the magic, and Emmy’s story told me it was the right call. She began by telling about the pancakes we made the morning we flew out, which we used to announce the trip to the kids. My heart was full. I helped fill in some of the details she’d forgotten. Then Justin told us the story of his first big buck — the one whose rack hangs in Frank’s room now. Lizzy didn’t want to tell a story, but she enjoyed cuddling with each of us in turn as we spoke.

We still haven’t finished the chicken run, which apparently is shameful. Justin says people can build entire houses in less than a week. Sure, I say. People who know how to build things. Sadly, neither of us are really builders. In our normal life, before all this social distancing, he would have had his brother over to help and they would have gotten through the project much faster. But as it is he’s had me. I’m not useless, but I’ve certainly never built anything before. We only work on it for an hour or two most days, because he’s trying to work from home, and I’m trying to keep everyone fed and the laundry done and whatnot. Sometimes I’ll go out to do some digging while he’s busy, but sometimes the weather isn’t on our side.

We don’t say it, but I think we both kind of liked having the project unfinished out there, something to keep going back to. It puts a little structure into our days, gives us the chance to be outside and to accomplish something. After we finish it, what’s next? Anyway, Emmy has to watch the little two while we work, and I don’t feel comfortable having her do that for hours at a stretch.

I wouldn’t mind being bored, like so many people stuck at home right now are. I’d love more time to write (not entries like this. Real writing). It’d be nice to sit out on the swing and watch the kids play on their playground. I think it’ll be nice to have the project out of the way, though he’s likely to find another for us once it’s done. We’re very fortunate in that the chickens have been fine in their temporary run. The coop they sleep in is very secure, which is what’s allowed us to move at this pace. They had no run where they lived before. Just a coop and the whole, wide world to explore. I’m afraid with the woods and everything, though, that they’d be eaten if we set them free.

Emmy does well on her homeschool work, though I’ve slacked off a bit on teaching her. She’s learning a lot about life, but the packet the school sent home only had enough work for two weeks in it. She’s passed her J’s in rainbow math, and I need to ask her teacher for the K’s. As of today they have new work for us to pick up, but I hope I’ll be able to print it here at home instead. You just can’t be too careful now.

I am so tired of cooking! On the one hand I feel bad to complain, because that’s nothing compared to what essential workers (nurses and doctors, grocery store employees, truck drivers, etc) are facing every day. I’m just at home, I have the time, but ugh! We used to eat out once a week at least. The problem now isn’t the actual cooking for me so much as the continual reminder that our supplies are dwindling. If we could get the groceries we wanted consistently every time, it wouldn’t be so bad. But now I’m always thinking, “Is this the last can of green beans? Is this the best way to use it? What does this leave us to eat tomorrow? The next day?” There’s a lot of anxiety involved.

Easter is coming up, and there won’t be an Easter Bunny at the mall. We wouldn’t have gone if there was, social distancing and all, and I’m glad it’s cancelled so other people won’t get sick. But it still broke my heart to see it. I wanted a perfect, normal holiday for my babies. The month of April, on my photo calendar, shows photos with the Easter Bunny through the years. From sleeping baby Emmy, through crying Lizzy, all the way to annoyed-looking Frank, I can see our family grow right there on the bunny’s lap. This year I’ll put on my bunny suit (at least I have one) and they’ll be well aware it’s me. We’ll always know this year was different.