We enjoyed some much-needed sunshine yesterday. All this might not have seemed so jarring if it hadn’t been accompanied by two weeks of dreary, cold weather. I hope the birds, flowers, and warmth of Spring will bring us all some comfort in the weeks ahead.

This is all so crazy. We never imagined it could happen here, in America. Some people still can’t accept that it’s happening now. Two weeks ago today, I was going about my normal business (mostly). My dad came in the morning to pick Emmy up for school, something he did every Wednesday and Thursday so I could get Lizzy to preschool (separate schools with the same start time). Emmy was tired, and pouty. She’d been that way more and more lately, even though we’d tried making her bedtime earlier. She just wasn’t feeling the mornings. But I knew she’d snap out of it as soon as she got to school.

Lizzy woke up radiating happiness. She loved school days so much. She flew through her morning routine, threw on her panda outfit (it always had to be a panda outfit), and begged me to get her there in time to be the line leader. I tried, but a combination of ineptitude on my part and resistance on Emmy’s meant that we didn’t leave the house as early as we should have.

I apologized to her on the drive. She had done everything right, and she deserved better. She responded that I was the best mommy she could ever have, and she knew I tried my hardest. Lo and behold she ended up being the first kid in the door at school that morning. I’m so glad now. She got to be the line leader on what turned out to be her last day of preschool.

When I got back home with Frank, I turned on Paw Patrol for him and took inventory in our freezer and pantry. I was freaked out about the Coronavirus, and considering pulling the kids from school the following week. I assumed they’d close schools down the week after that, and we might have three total weeks of absences, though we’d have to miss Lizzy’s field trip, the Easter party. Plus, parents receive a truancy letter from Emmy’s school after ten absences, and she’s already had… maybe six? I was probably making a big deal out of nothing, like always, I told myself.

In any case though, I’d read about the lockdown in China, and while I doubted the US government could order people to stay home, I’d been slowly stocking up things we needed, including laundry detergent, dog food and chicken food. I wanted to buy an extra large pack of toilet paper, but that was already sold out at Walmart.

That night I talked to Justin about my concern over all this. He shrugged it off, and said if it were that big a deal, he probably shouldn’t have attended a work conference with 3,000 people that day. I knew he was wrong about it not being a big deal, and I hoped we weren’t already doomed.

The next morning, I drove Emmy to school. It was just the two of us, since Justin had taken the day off to work on the chicken run, so the other two stayed home in bed. It was a normal morning. I prayed for her on the way, like I always did, that God would protect her from anyone unkind, and from germs that could make her sick.

In my heart, that prayer was normally (covertly) about school shootings, a near-constant worry in the pre-pandemic US. Her school was vigilant about letting anyone in or out, though, and overall I felt she was safe there. This time, the same prayer, worded the same way, was about Coronavirus. I prayed for wisdom and insight for myself while I was at it.

Back at home, on a break from working with Justin with the chicken run, I got the message from school that any child who’s sick, or any child who’s been around anyone who’s sick, should stay home. It said the truancy policy would no longer be enforced at this time. I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I could keep Emmy home if I wanted to, without any risk of being taken to court for negligence. Now there was just the question of when, exactly, I should start doing that. I talked with another mom I’m friends with from her school. We both decided we’d keep them home starting Monday.

I picked Emmy up that afternoon, an hour early because it was the end of the quarter (all students always got out an hour early the last Friday of each quarter. This wasn’t virus related). We went to Sinclair’s and bought a couple packages of meat for the coming week, along with a couple packages for the freezer. I didn’t feel afraid at the grocery store, but I did notice the lack of toilet paper. They had everything else we were looking for.

From there, we went to Walmart for our store pickup order, which I assumed would contain the toilet paper I’d been looking for. No such luck. As we waited for our order, a friend of Emmy’s friend from school, and her mom, who’s a nurse, pulled up beside us. We rolled down our windows and shouted across to each other. Social distancing and all. I was eager to get this mom’s take on things, but I picked up quickly that Emmy’s friend didn’t know much about it yet, so her mom and I discussed other things. We’d have a play date in the park sometime, once the weather warmed up. When we said goodbye, the girls agreed to sit together in class on Monday. We moms exchanged a sad look about that, and waved goodbye.

We barely made it home from the store before the school called, with the automated message telling us they were closing for two weeks, starting Tuesday. It didn’t exactly come out of nowhere, but it blew my mind. I had thought my panic was exaggerated, or at least a week ahead of the government’s panic anyway. I knew I wouldn’t be taking Emmy to school on Monday.

Over the weekend I had to un-rsvp to two birthday parties Emmy had been invited to, and the Girl Scouts cancelled the pinewood derby Justin had helped her build a car for. Mercifully, she woke up Saturday and didn’t question any of this as we went about our day. It came up on Sunday, as we were all out working on the chicken run again. We explained that the virus is like the flu, but that some people have health problems and it would be dangerous for them, so everyone needs to stay home for awhile.

She asked if she was just off from school for two weeks. I told her we were going to do homeschool instead. She was thrilled. We had talked about homeschooling before. She knew some families do it, we’d even tossed around the idea of doing it ourselves a few times. We had a nice afternoon, but by evening she did cry a bit about how she’ll miss her friends, and she’d rather go to school after all. Sorry, kid.

Justin got sick on Sunday with a runny nose, fever and cough. He stayed home in bed for a few days. We were worried, particularly because he attended that conference, so we called the doctor about getting him tested. They said he didn’t qualify, because he couldn’t name someone specific he’d been in contact with who had the virus. So time went by, and thankfully he got better. I don’t know if it was a really mild case of Coronavirus, or if it was something else altogether. We’ll probably never know, but we do know for sure that testing in our area is woefully inadequate.

We say the pledge in the morning when we homeschool, and Emmy does a morning worksheet and a math worksheet (kindly provided to us by her awesome teacher, who we both miss seeing). Lizzy practices writing and using her letters, while Frank looks for different types of items around the house. We’ve been doing PE with the Youtube videos Emmy has used at school, like Kids Workout #1 and the snake one. We’ll do more PE outside as the weather warms up. Cincinnati zoo is doing a really neat program called home safari, where they showcase a different animal each weekday and tell the kids all about it. There’s also a music teacher doing classes on Facebook live. For art class, I’ve been walking them through drawing bugs and animals, and then they color those.

Life at home is good. Wonderful even, except for the constant fear that every sniffle or cough from anyone is a sign of imminent death. I worry about the kids getting injured in any way, since a trip to the hospital would carry a high risk of exposure to the virus. The kids miss their grandparents, and I miss them too, but they’re safe in their homes, away from our sniffles and coughs.

This will go on for awhile. Through Easter, and probably through May too. I’m not sure how it’ll end, or when the world will be safe again, but I have a lot to be thankful for. I have three beautiful babies who still need a lot from me, plus a dog and seven chickens to care for. Justin and I are building a run for the chickens, so I don’t really have much time to sit and think. That’s probably for the best.