Tonight’s the night I’m going public with my blog. I’ve never been more afraid to do anything in all my life. I’ve posted here off an on for about five years now, mostly with the mindset that I’d keep my words anonymous forever. I don’t write for validation, after all. I write because I have to, to keep myself sane by getting the thoughts out that I can’t ever seem to express effectively in person.

Rather than trying to build my blog into something successful, I’ve devoted what little free time I’ve had as a stay-at-home-mom (which is less time than most people would think) to helping other people succeed by freelancing as a ghost writer and a copy editor. Justin always said I should write for myself instead, but that’s easier said than done. Writing for other people meant I only had to please one person at a time, and the subject and style of writing were always chosen by that person. I wasn’t exposing my very soul to the world and daring them to crush it.

I recently came across an article expressing a viewpoint that’s very close to my heart, but it was poorly written, which called the author’s credibility into question and compromised the impact of the piece. I thought about how I could have written it better, and that’s when it hit me. What I may or may not be capable of doing will never matter to anyone in this world. What you’re capable of doing won’t matter either. I had no room to feel hypothetically superior to the author of that article — someone who had put in the time and effort to actually DO something. Shame on me!

So I wrote the article I felt like the world needed to see. I shared it on Facebook, but my friends didn’t, and I resented them just a little. How dare they deny me the support I never bothered to ask them for?! After all I’d done for some of them (and all the hypothetical things I could have done for everyone)… shame on me again.

I shared all of this in a Facebook group for new bloggers, and they encouraged me to own my words. Because what’s the point of living if you can’t be who you are? They said that while my friends and acquaintances are far less likely than strangers to care about or support my blog, it’s an important step in my journey of personal development to put myself out there. It’ll make me a better writer.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how right they were. And not only that, I want to raise children who are bold, confident, open and trusting. They all seem to be on the right track so far, but how can I expect to guide them down rocky paths like this one, if I lacked the courage to explore them myself?

So here I am, everyone, and here’s my blog! It would have been easier, and so much less nerve-wrecking for me, just to post a bunch of nude photos on my timeline, but you still wouldn’t really know me by seeing them, and I think you’ll all like this a lot better.