Imagine for a moment how different parenting would be if children came with instruction manuals. On the surface, it seems like having answers on how to best care for our babies in every phase and season of their lives would make all the difference. In reality though, the book would be bigger than an average toddler, and any pearls of wisdom it contained would be carefully concealed within layers of information so basic and common sense it’d be almost insulting to read. Imagine the diagrams of babies labeled, “this end up,” “milk goes here,” etc. Try as they might, no new parent could keep their eyes open long enough to read through it all.

Car seat manuals aren’t much different. We know motor vehicle crashes are a leading cause of death for children in the US, but we also fall easily into the trap of thinking, “we’ve got this.” We expect car seat safety to be intuitive, and in some ways it is. We know the car seat belongs in the back seat, far from any airbags. We know the baby must be securely buckled in for every trip. We assume if we’re doing that, we’re doing enough. After all, we’ve heard Great Aunt Mildred’s stories of how she never rode in a car seat growing up, and she “turned out just fine!” The problem with that is there are more cars on the road today than there were back then, and they’re traveling faster than ever. Also, not every child from Great Aunt Mildred’s generation turned out just fine. The ones who didn’t just aren’t here to warn us about car seat safety.

I’m not a child passenger safety technician (CPST), and I’m not an expert on motherhood by any means, but I’ve been dealing with car seats in all their forms  for seven years now. Looking back on the mistakes I’ve made, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way, here are the points I think should be highlighted and explained in every car seat manual:

1. Don’t let anything puffy come between your baby and her car seat. There are some undeniably adorable car seat covers and strap pads out there, and they really do look like they’d make the seat more comfortable for your baby. Still, you should avoid them like alcohol during pregnancy, for two reasons. First, the car seat hasn’t been crash tested with that particular cover and those strap pads. It’s very likely that in the force of a crash, the padding and fabric would compress, leaving your baby strapped too loosely into the seat. This increases the risk of her being thrown from the seat, and possibly from the vehicle (which, incidentally, is the same thing that can happen to babies wearing coats in their car seats). The second risk is that a lot of the materials used to create these beautiful covers and strap pads aren’t flame retardant. If there’s ever a fire in your vehicle, your baby will be at greater risk of sustaining severe burns. Lately, car seat manufacturers are making covers in more colors and styles than ever before. Shop around until you find something you love, and if someone happens to give you strap pads or a cover as a gift, try them out in the stroller or bouncer instead.
2. Straps should come from below baby’s shoulders when rear-facing. The reason rear-facing is the safest position for baby is that the force of a collision will bring his head toward the front of the vehicle at a high rate of speed. His body will be restrained by the straps of his car seat, of course, and until his C3 vertebra has finished hardening (which happens somewhere between his second and fourth birthdays), the force puts him at risk of a horrifying phenomenon called internal decapitation. For as long as your baby is rear-facing, you’ll want to make sure the car seat straps are coming from below his shoulder level (they should come up from their slots, over his shoulder and back down), so he’s held as securely as possible in the event of a crash.
3. Be sure to tighten the straps enough. Use two fingers to try and fold down a tiny piece of the car seat strap at your baby’s shoulder. If you can’t fold down enough material to pinch and hold between your thumb and forefinger, then you’ve got the straps tight enough. At first glance, it might seem like your baby would be more comfortable with a looser strap, but consider the enclosed space she just came from. Babies like to be held tightly, and to feel secure. This is why we swaddle them, and it’s part of the reason they’re happiest in our arms. It’s also why they don’t mind sitting rear-facing, even as they grow. Even if your child in particular seems annoyed by the straps of the car seat, this fit is essential to keep her safe in an accident.
4. The top buckle, or chest clip, on the car seat should be even with your baby’s armpits. This can be tricky when your baby is very tiny, and the chest clip seems so big by comparison, but it’s monumentally important. Try to line up the center of the chest clip with his armpits as best you can. A chest clip that’s too low will injure baby’s internal organs in a collision. One that’s too high could interfere with baby’s neck and make it hard for him to breathe.
5. Make sure the seat or base is installed tightly, and that baby is reclined at the right angle. It’s important that newborns are reclined enough in their seats so that their heads don’t flop forward and risk closing off their airways. Infant carrier car seats are designed to fit into the base at the appropriate angle, but with a convertible seat you’ll want to look for either a level or a line on the side to line up parallel to the ground. The general rule is that once installed, you shouldn’t be able to to move your base by more than an inch. If you’re installing with your car’s seat belt, pull it all the way out first, then thread it through the car seat base according to the instruction manual and return as much of the seat belt as you can. Use your body weight to press down on the base and return even more of the seat belt. You’ll notice that if you tug on the seat belt after this, it will hold firm rather than extending. If it does extend, pull it all the way out again and start over. Installing a seat with the lower anchors is just as safe as using the seat belt, until your baby reaches a certain weight (the weight varies by manufacturer, so check your manual, and remember to re-check it as your child grows).
6. Remember that if you’re ever in an accident and your airbags deploy, your car seat will need to be replaced, even if it doesn’t show any visible damage, and even if your baby wasn’t with you at the time of the crash. Like a bicycle helmet, it won’t provide as much protection from a second impact as it did from the first. Many people don’t consider this, which is one reason (along with recalls and expiration dates) to be wary of accepting hand-me-down car seats or purchasing used models. Your car insurance company may cover the cost of buying a new seat after an accident. If it doesn’t, try contacting the car seat’s manufacturer  and asking about any discounts available for repeat customers who have to replace their seats.

As new parents, we all have a lot to learn in a short span of time. Sleep deprivation and stress can make it hard to remember what we’ve read from one week to the next. Fortunately for us, there are experts available to help, both online and in our communities. Police and Fire departments usually have someone on staff who’s trained as a CPST, and if you’d like, you can set up an appointment to have them inspect your car seat installation and make sure you haven’t missed anything. Technicians can also be found in Car Seats for the Littles groups, such as the one on Facebook. Just post a few photos of your child in her seat (edited to cover her face if privacy is a concern, though it is a closed group), and someone will comment to point out issues that need addressed and to answer your questions. Other useful resources I’ve found on the subject include the Car Seat Lady, the Mayo Clinic, and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

I’m sharing this information in hopes of helping other parents keep their children safe, but I’m open to suggestions on how I can do better as well. What have I missed, particularly in regard to infants?